Networking

I'm fairly social by nature and consider myself to be pretty competent at making connections. Though it's painfully obvious now that I haven't taken the time to build up an important network for myself.

My business networking skills are decent. I stay in touch with a lot of former colleagues and am well plugged in to my professional world. Of course this is a good thing, and it comes in handy when I need to bring in some money.

I'm not bad at social networking either. Not as good as a salesperson would be, but not bad for me. I take the initiative to set up get-togethers and lunches now and then, and for the most part I feel connected to friends.

And then there's the Mom world. Where I'm struggling to find my footing. You'd think after nearly 4 years of motherhood I'd be plugged in to some sort of Mom support. But I'm not. Of course that's due to my own situation and lack of planning. Up until recently, I've been pretty busy working, and I shared child-care responsibilities with my husband. But things have changed. I'm working less, my husband's working more and has numerous other commitments he's responsible for. So, essentially, I'm running the home scene, 24/7, for the first time. My inexperience and ineptitude at doing this are really smacking me in the face!

Realizing that I need to line up some Mom support, I decided to check out some Mom groups. The first one I tried was a bust. It was advertised at my gym, but no one showed up. Not even the leader!

The second one I tried (with my friend) was pretty good. Advertised as a group for women who are "sequencing," (that makes me chuckle) there were a variety of women -- at-home Moms, in-the-workforce Moms, and somewhere in-between Moms (like me) who work out of their homes in some capacity. I will visit this group again and try some of their activities for Moms and kids. Of course it takes time to build connections, and I'm getting a late start.

In the meantime, my house is messy and dirty. The holidays are upon us. And I'm feeling in like I'm in over my head.

The upside, of course, is that I'm spending more time with my delightful growing boy, which I wouldn't trade for anything.

Comments

[Sarcasmom]

It all sounds pretty normal to me. I was a stay st home Mom til the oldest was 9 and the youngest was 4. Then I was a working Mom. Today I am an empty nester. My house is still in disarray and the holidays are still approaching at breakneck speed. Some things never change. I never was a group joiner. In fact i made every effort not to be in a group or on a committee. Enjoy every second with your son.

[Bluegrass Mama]

Sounds like me, too! But I will say that a mother's group is what saved my sanity when my oldest was little. I went to a six-week class for new moms at the hospital where he was born, and the 13 of the 16 in the class formed our own group and met weekly for six years. One of those moms is still one of my closest friends, despite the fact that we moved hundreds of miles away 17 years ago.

[kristi]

Like you, my professional networking skills are decent, but my "mom" ones are not as good. I'm happy to join you in your pursuit of "mom friends." I really enjoyed the meeting we attended, and hopefully we'll be able to meet more nice moms there as time goes on.

[nat]

Wow, I've been in that boat for 24 years now. I'd like to tell you it gets easier, but it hasn't for me! I've done the mom groups at various times, but I'm just not good at it, so I've pretty much been a loner (moving several times has ALMOST been a blessing, though, since I didn't stay in one place long enough to get truly fed up with it! lol)

Good luck in the journey of the mom groups, Marie!

[Mrs. Flinger]

We've talked about this a lot, having a "meet and greet" for moms. Kind of like e-harmony but for moms. You know, "Rush listening wine drinking mom not afraid to cuss behind child's back seeks non-judgmental no-makeup-wearing friend. Child is laid back but prone to not sharing. Seeks same." I wish you luck. I know it's hard. Wish I lived closer!

[vw bug]

I didn't really get into a mom's group. But after Tot was in the 2 year old twice a week preschool, I met a couple of mom's I hang with now... it makes life easier to have someone to talk to that has similar issues.

[Andrea]

I've had a hard time finding local mom friends, too. My problem is that the groups around here are all SAHM or WAHM groups that only schedule things during the workday.

[Rima]

I am a mom group dropout myself. I find it very hard to make new friends at this stage of life. I don't have a huge network of "mom" friends, but the ones I do have rock, so I guess that makes up for it.

[Jen R]

I had the same problem for a long time until i found a local playgroup, We swithc off houses now every week. It makes a huge difference. I think being a mom is just a little lonely sometimes.

[angel123]

hi, i cam across a new social networking site for wives (http://www.listentoyourwife.com) that was launched yesterday. it might be worth while for you to check out. it's not the 'face-to-face' mom's group that we are yearning for, but i am finding that the virtal ones tend to provide a lot of good support (not to mention fun)...