PractiGal

Immersion parenting

Yeah, it's redundant. But kind of catchy, don't you think? Kind of like Attachment Parenting. But not.

We're going through a Just Say No to Baths phase. We've been there before, a while back, and it magically went away when we started changing the color of the bath water with fizzy bath tablets. 

That gimic doesn't work this time.

This morning it was evident that it was time to press the issue. Because the Bob the Builder shirt he'd been wearing for I don't know how many days really needed to get into the wash, before it melded into his skin. But see, I'm not into baths by force. Not only isn't it fun for the child, it royally sucks for the parents. We did a bath by force on the little guy's birthday, and it was brutal. For everyone. Tears all around. Practically.

No, I didn't want that today.

I'd already exhausted the bath gizmos I picked up from Eckerd's clearance shelf. Sudsy Mudsy.  Race cars and a wrench of soap. Apparently they're good for a one-time enticement into the tub.

I prepared the bath -- poured some bubbles, lined up a bunch of favorite toys, got the plastic tea pot ready... and there was no way he was getting in.  "No no no no!!!!!"

So what do you do when your obstinate stubborn strong-willed darling son does not waver in his resistance to bathing?

Well, I didn't know what to do, so I tried something new today: psychology.

Mom: Well, if you don't want a bath, I think I'll get in the tub. No sense wasting a good bubble bath.

Son:  No! No, you can't!

Mom:  (As she takes her clothes off and steps into the tub) Why not? I'm going to get in here and play with the toys.

Son: (Grabbing at Mom's hand) No, no you can't get in the tub! I'm getting in the tub!

Mom: Oh, you want to get in here with me?

Son: No, you get out!

Mom: Oh, so if I get out of the tub, you'll get in?

Son: Yes!

Mom: Really? If I get out, you'll get into the tub?

Son: Yes, yes!

And you know what?

He did.

I put my clothes back on, astounded by the turn of events.

I'm not sure what I'll try next time -- I doubt that technique will work twice.

I'm hoping this phase passes again, before I run out of ideas...

 

Stinkin cute

Some things are just too cute.

Like these miniature Fruit of the Looms, for instance.  And am I the only one to just now realize what a clever play on words that brand name is? DOH! Oh, and no, they haven't been worn yet. I'm not posting a photo of used underwear for all the Internet to gawk at.

Then there's this one.  Yes, that's the little guy sleeping under a table. He was under the table where Daddy was working. He asked Daddy to move his feet; I guess they were encroaching upon his sleeping space. We have quite a collection of pictures like this! As I've said, he's partial to the floor. And he doesn't even need a pillow! In fact, he didn't have a blanket either, til we covered him up (& he kicked it off). Is this kid portable, or what?

And he doesn't know it yet, but we have tickets to take the little fellow to a very special event in a few weeks. (Shh! Don't tell!)

This and that

• Do you have earbud issues, too? I've been through a few pairs of headphones and have just found some fine phones that do the trick for me -- they're lightweight, with very nice, clear sound quality, and enough "punch, "  -- Sennheiser's PX100. Check 'em out. I got a great deal on a new set through eBay. They're not noise-canceling, but the sound is excellent. Thumbs & toes up on this product!

• I'm absolutely giddy over this weekend's library find: The Very Best of Jackson Browne. I was an official JB groupie* as a teenager, so I'm reliving my long-lost youth through my new headphones. I guess thinking back to teenage angst helps to make you realize that being 41 and hopelessly square isn't so bad after all. [*My sister, friends and I staked out the perimeter of the Hotel Syracuse after a JB concert in 1983 to catch a glimpse of the star and to get an autograph. And? We did! Wanting to tell let him what a huge fan I was, I told him how I'd just bought a new stereo and was playing all his records on it all the time. Yes, that was the truth, but what a dork! And one of us (either my sister or I) asked why he didn't play Rosie (we didn't realize it at the time, but that song's about, ummm, self-gratification). He chuckled and said "Well sometimes we do, sometimes we don't."]

• I'm equally giddy about a consignment extravaganza coming up this week.  I just read about it in a local parenting magazine; it will be held in a large space at a local mall. I am sure it will be a mob scene, but I'll definitely be there. With bells on. If ever there were an occasion for the $20 game, this is it. But from the looks of things, I'll be lucky to get out of there spending so little at this one! Talk about the grand bonanza of consignment sales. I need to get myself organized for their fall sale, so I can be a consignor and not just a customer.

• I have some peeves lately, related to customer service. I get more than a little irritated when a web site's "Contact Us" link sends you on a wild goose chase for an e-mail address or phone number.  Grrr. Yes, they want you to look up the answer to your question in their knowledge base, but sometimes you just want actual contact with an actual breathing person... who understands English and speaks English clearly! Is that too much to ask for? The other day I overheard my husband calling tech support on his Mom's behalf. It was actually excruciating listening to him say his Mom's address to the tech guy -- syllable by syllable, repeatedly. He must have had to spell the name of her town six times. Thank God it's a short name.

• Oh, another peeve? Ebay sellers who don't leave feedback for the buyer til the buyer leaves feedback first. The sequence of events should go like this: Buyer pays seller, seller leaves feedback, buyer receives item, buyer leaves feedback for seller. Right? Of course. That's called good customer service. But it's become more the norm that sellers hold the feedback hostage, waiting to make sure they get good feedback first. Slimeballs.

• It's definitely springtime in upstate NY. Today we've had thunderstorms, and the crocuses and daffodils are peeking out of the ground. Most of the snow has melted, and there's mud everywhere. My neighbor's grass already looks better than mine. How can that be?

A Perfect Square

I remember the summer MTV started. Back when they played lots of music videos, back to back. Dire Straits - Money for Nothing; The Clash - Rock the Casbah (I always think of that video when I see a picture of an armadillo). I'm pretty sure it was 1982. I was in high school, and relatively hip, in a nerdy sort of way. I remember the summer well -- I'd sit out by the pool and bake in the sun, and go inside the house to get an MTV fix, and then I'd go to my fast-food job in the evening. I was cool.

OK, so that was a very long time ago.

Somewhere between 1982 and 2007, I done gone square. Not sure when it happened exactly, but it's undeniable at this point. Most likely it's been a gradual 25 year decline in hip-dom.

The other day my sister e-mailed that she'd taken my niece to see Augustana and Goo Goo Dolls in concert.  At least I've heard of the Goo Goo Dolls, but Augustana? I wondered who she was, so I googled and found out that she is a they, and they're guys.

Oh, right.

Clearly, when you've reached this level of out-of-touchness, there's no faking it. You can't pretend to know what your niece or the neighbor kids are talking about.

To make matters worse, we don't have cable TV.  (Though I do catch some cable at the gym.) Oh, and I'm a work-at-home Mom to a 3-year-old. So, while I'm well-versed in Thomas the Tank Engine and all things Lightning McQueen (a la Cars), we've never even seen Dora the Explorer or Spongebob in our house.

So I'm curious. How do YOU stay cool and in touch with what's hip, what's now, what's current? 

Or are you as pathetic as me?  (Please, someone tell me that I'm not alone!)

An acrophobic's nightmare

Have you heard about the new glass walkway that jets out over the Grand Canyon?  I just watched a slideshow on it and was on the verge of a panic attack just looking at it on my computer monitor.

Oh. My. Gosh. 

Looking at the slides brought back memories of other open-space heights in which I've frozen in fear. On plain old open staircases. Inside light houses. 

But the most vivid memory I have is of the Eiffel Tower. I wasn't even able to climb the open stairs to the lowest observation deck without breaking into a panicky sweat and clutching to the hand rail with white knuckles to get down.

Then I saw this comparison chart. Look how much higher this Grand Canyon observation deck is than other well-known landmarks. It is 4,000 feet above the Colorado River. 4,000 feet! Waaaay higher than the little Eiffel Tower.

I would not walk on this thing for all the tea in China.

I don't even think I could do it for a million dollars.

Could you?

Boat for sale

Want to buy a boat? 

OK, so it would probably be overkill for your Sunday fishing trips. Not to mention a heavy strain on the old pocketbook.

But maybe you know of a city who'd like to buy it. Or a small country.

What began as a boondoggle in upstate New York can be your very own city or country's claim to fame.

Built in Australia, The CAT (officially the Spirit of Ontario I, though it became known as The Breeze during its brief tenure here) seats 774 and can carry over 200  cars.  Our fair city's former mayor thought we needed this ferry. It would be an attraction. People would pass through our port coming from and going to Toronto. Toronto is indeed a wonderful city, and a great destination for western New Yorkers. But they'd want to come here? Huh? 

Rochesterians poured millions and millions of dollars into the project (thanks, former Mayor Johnson) -- a major facelift for the Port of Rochester (the domain name is now for sale too -- how about that?), a dock for the high-speed ferry, and sign-on from many area businesses who'd set up shop at the port to be part of its luster. And of course the multi-million dollar vessel itself.

Yes, the boat is beautiful. Yes, it was an enjoyable ride for those who sailed it to Toronto. I never rode it, but my family and I did go to see it leave port in August 2004. (I wanted to see it before it went bankrupt!)

But lo and behold, it was indeed a very expensive proposition. And not one that a struggling city could continue to support. Thank goodness,  a new mayor took office a year ago and pulled the plug on the city's continued funding of the ferry. The boat would be sold.

And a deal had been "in the works" for months -- until recently -- when the mayor finally said enough is enough. Either you have the funding to buy it, or you don't. In the meantime, taxpayers here are keeping the boat afloat and docked in Nova Scotia.

So, if you're interested, contact the Mayor Duffy. Word is there's a credible buyer on the line, but that's what we thought we had for the past few months.

I can't imagine any reasonable offer will be refused.

Recipe for a good time

Ingredients:
An energetic 3-year old
His Mom

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Process:

1. Take 3-year old son to the library during limited Sunday hours, as a special outing. Promise to borrow a particular movie, which is "on the shelf" according to the online catalog.

2. Find that the movie is no longer on the shelf when you arrive.

3. Find suitable replacement movie.

4. Stop to play at train table.

5. Move from train table to play room when tot wants to play with trucks.

6. Prod him from the play room after 20 minutes or so.

7. Stop at train table again.

8. Carefully select a bunch of books to borrow while son is engrossed in train table play.

9. Plant the seed that it'll soon be time to leave.

10. Let the "No! no! no!" dust settle while collecting more books.

11. Realize that child is in a pre-nap daze, playing in a very sunny, warm corner.

12. Decide that you must make your break -- it's now or never.

13. When child does not come willingly, carry his thrashing screaming body out of the children's room, along with a good haul of books.

14. Make quick decision - bag the carefully selected books and video and leave immediately? or torture all library patrons by waiting in line to check out?  As the fourth patron in line, the torture we'll inflict will be short-lived, so I choose to go the torture route.

15. Realize that the "check-out" will be bagged if the child runs off while we wait in line.

16. Miraculously make it to the desk with child still at side. Apologize profusely to librarian and fellow patrons. Why will no one make eye contact or nod with understanding?!

17. Chase child. Mutter that there is no freaking way he's getting back into the main library area.

18. Pry screaming, crying child's resistant body off the floor, telling yourself that you just need to get him (& the books) into the enclosed entryway, and then all will be well. There, you can torture him into his coat.

19. Breathe a sigh of relief when the tot is enclosed in the library entrance. He can lay on the floor here until he gathers himself.

20. Fortunately, that doesn't take long. Noticing other children behaving civilly seems to help.

21. Let him hold the video he's spotted in your bag. Remind him how fun it will be to watch that video once we get home.

22. Encourage him to realize that he needs his coat to get to the car, so that he can go home and watch the video.

23. Strap child into carseat. Exhale deeply.

24. Reflect on the fact that what felt like half an hour was actually only about three minutes.

25. Take the scenic route home, so that he's in a deep sleep by the time you pull in to the driveway.

Happy St. Paddy's Day!

Q. What is Irish diplomacy?

A. It's the ability to tell a man to go to hell. So that he will look forward to making the trip.
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An Irish man walks into a pub. The bartender asks him, "what'll you have?"

The man says, "Give me three pints of Guinness please."

So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they're gone. He then orders three more.

The bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold. You don't have to order three at a time. I can keep an eye on it and when you get low I'll bring you a fresh cold one."

The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too, and we're drinking together.

The bartender thought that was a wonderful tradition.

Every week the man came in and ordered three beers. Then one week he came in and ordered only two. He drank them and then ordered two more.

The bartender said to him, "I know what your tradition is, and I'd just like to say that I'm sorry that one of your brothers died."

The man said, "Oh, me brothers are fine----I just quit drinking."

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O'Connell was staggering home with a pint of booze in his back pocket when he slipped and fell heavily.

Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet running down his leg.

"Please, God," he implored, "let it be blood!"

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Paddy was walking through a graveyard when he came across a headstone with the inscription "Here lies a politician and an honest man."

"Faith now," exclaimed Paddy, "I wonder how they got the two of them in one grave."

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Paddy was in New York He was patiently waiting, and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, "Okay pedestrians". Then he'd allow the traffic to pass. He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk. After the cop had shouted "Pedestrians" for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, "Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?"

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Joey-Jim was tooling along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over. "What's wrong, Seamus?" Joey-Jim asked. "Well didn't ya know, Joey-Jim, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?" said Seamus. "Ah, praise the Almighty!" he replied with relief. "I thought I'd gone deaf!"

An update from Hula

For anyone who's interested, Hula Doula has posted an update on the situation with the boys she rescued.  Brace yourself -- it's not easy to read, and she has some very sad news.

You're 3!

To my dear sweet son,

The time is flying, and you are now 3 years old! We celebrated your birthday on Saturday. I've been looking at pictures of you taken just after you were born. How you've changed! Even though you were a big baby, we called you our little peanut. You're about 35 pounds now, and you're over 39" tall. Even though you're a big boy, but you'll always be my little peanut.

You're so much fun, and you keep us laughing every day with the things you say and do. You've recently developed a taste for almonds, and you ask for a "big pile" of them. You ask for "big piles" of grapes, too. And even "big piles" of milk! Some days I think you're going to eat us out of house and home -- we can't get the food you want fast enough. And then other days you eat like a bird. I don't worry about it. You're obviously growing, and you let us know when you want more food. Last night at bed time, you got the Parmesan cheese out of the fridge and asked for spaghetti. We didn't have any spaghetti made, but you settled for a piece of toast with jelly.

Like your Dad, you are into cars. Toy cars for now. You probably have at least 50 Matchbox cars of your own, but the ones you always want to see are the few your Dad has in a glass case. You like to look at Dad's "car collection," even though your collection is five times the size of his. The Disney/Pixar movie Cars is the first full-length movie you've gotten hooked on. We've watched it several times since December. You and Dad play the Cars computer games, too, and we just got the movie soundtrack. You love it all. We have a few toys of the car characters, but you play "Lightning McQueen" with anything you get your hands on.

You love your trains and trucks too. Last month you played with your trucks in the snow just like you were sitting in a giant sandbox. I was amazed by how long you sat on the freezing cold driveway in your snowsuit. But you're miles away in your mind when you're playing, and I don't think the weather bothered you at all.

You and Daddy made your first snowman last week.  I came out to take pictures, and you told me to "stay here, I'm gonna go get him some eyebrows." You do have an eye for detail, that's for sure! And you're definitely a little character.

Over the weekend you got to see some cousins and you had a complete blast with them. They're 8 and 11 years older than you, but they are very patient and loving with you. I think they enjoy having a little cousin. Some day you might tower over them -- we'll see!

In general, you're still pretty easy-going much of the time, though you do have a stubborn streak. Like one of your parents. Ahem. Sometimes it makes us want to pull out our hair, but we still love you.

Loud noises bother you when you're not expecting them, but you've discovered that covering your ears helps. And you still leave the room when I turn on the garbage disposal or blender.

You like to turn on the radio and "dance" on Mom and Dad's bed. I love watching you smile and hearing your giggles.

Yes, you're a big boy, but you're still my precious peanut, and I love you to the moon and back...

A belated happy birthday, sweetie.

Love, Mom

( H/T Barbara for the photo fun )