Care To Sniff The Cork?

We've been trying some red wines at our house lately. My husband and I are not big wine-drinkers, though we both enjoy white wine, especially Chardonnays and Rieslings. After hearing so much about the health benefits of reds, we thought we'd get a variety of reds for the holidays, and see if we can find something we enjoy. I bought a few bottles, and so far we're not sold on any of them.

The other day our newspaper had a full-page ad for a local mega-liquor-store. It lists wines that are the "best values" of the year, along with a brief description of each, written by wine magazine writers. Great! I read through the listings, thinking I'd find some for us to try.

You know what?  I decided that for my next career I'm going to be a wine writer.  No, I'm no connoisseur, but I think the writing would be fun.  Here's one of the descriptions I read in this ad:

Dark blackberry and plum fruit, with hints of grilled meat, mineral and tar. Muscular up front, but fresh and easy through the finish. Very tasty.

So, this is supposed to make me want to try this wine?  Honestly, if I bought a wine that had hints of grilled meat, I think I'd have to take it back. Is it desirable to have such hints IN your wine? 

And tar? Well, I usually try to avoid ingesting tar, in any shape or form. I've never been attracted to muscular wines either, but then maybe I just haven't been paying attention. I wonder what makes a wine muscular? Is that related to the tar?

I figured that was just a fluke, so I read on.

[This wine] sees some oak, a small amount of which is new. Notes of flowers, black currants, licorice, and road tar are discernible, but the emphasis is on oodles of up-front fruit, an opulent attack, sweet tannin, and a lush, heady mid-palate and finish.

Obviously, I'm just not in-the-know on wine. Apparently, road tar is in. It's a good thing I'm not a wine maker. I'd be telling the employees who know what they're doing to lay off the road tar.

The thing I like about the second description is the use of the word oodles. It's a great word, so non-pretentious. I like to see it in print: oodles. I like to say it, too. Oodles and oodles. The writer probably included it for a charm factor.

Yes, I think writing wine descriptions would be a fine job. Taste wines. Learn about them. Write about them.

I think I'll give it a try. (Ahem)

This wine is delightful. With boat-loads of fruit, it massages the palate as you might pay a fine masseuse to do. You will see that it comes from a glass bottle, but you won't detect glass in the finish. Best of all, you won't have a headache after finishing a couple of glasses. This wine boasts all the character, gusto, and oomph you'd expect in a $9.99 bottle, but for half that price. How can you resist?  Buy yourself a case today!

There! That wasn't so hard. And it was fun. Can't wait to do my next review -- I'm sure the vintners  will be beating down my door to get to me now.

Anyone care to join me for a tasting?

 

Comments

[Anita]

Hee hee - I love your description! It is extremely amusing that tar is listed as one of the notes in the wine. Doesn't exactly make me want to run out and buy it.

I like wine, but found reds to be more of an acquired taste. My favorite reds are shiraz ...Unfortunately, I've found reds are much more likely to give you a hangover despite their health benefits.

[Elle]

The VIM and I have also been sampling different wines. I prefer Rieslings, too. The only red I really like is Shiraz.

Or maybe some Mad Dog 20/20.

:)

[Marie]

Anita,
I don't seem to be able to drink enough to get a hangover any more... I fall asleep after a glass and a half! Such a party girl! My college friends would be disappointed, as my roomie used to call me "rock gut."

Elle,
OK, that's 2 of you now. We will have to try a Shiraz. And some Mad Dog ;-)

[kristi]

LOL. Tar? TAR? That's nasty. I love, LOVE wine, and especially visiting the wineries around Seneca Lake, and I've always gotten a kick out of their descriptions. But I like yours the best. ;)

[Uisce]

Maybe they're reducing the tar in cigarettes and passing the savings along to the wine drinkers! Maybe it's the tar they were *supposed* to use to fix the potholes in my neighborhood! I can never taste the plum that's always supposed to be there. Am I just plum crazy?

[JK :)]

LOL! Your entry's funny! I had fun reading it!

Goodluck on your next career as a wine review writer. :)

[Marie]

Kristi,
I like visiting the wineries too, though I've found that their prices are quite a bit higher than buying locally!

Mr. U. (R.) Plum Crazy,
Ha ha! Just you wait, there will be another class action law suit! We could use some tar on my street too.

JK,
Why thank you! Maybe I'll be able to get a discount to share with readers!

[InterstellarLass]

HA HA! I prefer beer, but sometimes wine is just a must. I love World Market. They have some great wines for under $10. I like the wines with the cherry/chocolate/berry kind of hints. I don't know that I've had a wine with 'tar'. Argentina, Chile, France and Italy all turn out some great reds.

[caltechgirl]

Too bad you all are in Rochester.... These are awesome (and cheap).

although they might ship.....

[Arethusa]

I prefer to cook with wine rather than drink it but your description almost convinced me otherwise. Almost. ;)