PractiGal

Body Part Upgrades

Have you ever wanted to trade in a body part? or two? Perhaps upgrade to a newer model? *

Ever since having my son, I've had regular lower-back pain. I do some stretches and exercises that help a bit, but maybe I'm not doing enough of them, because I can't seem to completely lick the pain.

And then there are my feet. I've been wearing orthopedic shoes since 4th grade, due to high arches that need a lot of support. If I'm not wearing the right shoes, it feels like I have pulled muscles in my arches. Ouch! As an adult, I've developed plantar fasciitis, which is pretty painful.

Poor me, huh?  Before you get out your teeny tiny violins & serenade me, check this out...

If I were an American Girl doll, I could send myself in for repairs and have my body parts replaced for nominal fees.

For instance, need a new limb?  $25  -- That would solve my feet problems.

A new body? (Torso and limbs)  $38 -- That should take care of the back pain.

After an especially bad day, need to have your head reattached? $20 

Or, want your head replaced altogether with the same model?  $38

And, if I were an American Girl doll, I could be sent home from the doll hospital in my very own wheelchair, for only $30 more.

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If you could replace any 2 body parts, which would you choose?

*This piece is entirely meant as humor and in no way does this writer wish to offend anyone who has had a limb replaced, or is missing a limb or body part. Good grief. I can't imagine. I'm very fortunate & blessed to have the body parts I have!!

Meeting of the Minds

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of attending a work meeting, where 95% of the discussions did not require my input. Picture, if you will, the very Dilbert-esque scene of 15 people sitting around a conference room table, pens poised, agendas propped, and smiles checked at the door.

After scanning the agenda, I see that the portion of the agenda that relates to me is at the bottom of page 2, on a 2.5 page handout. During this 1-hour meeting, I knew my mind would wander. Better a wandering mind than falling asleep on the table, right?  Most of the attendees were from a very large department, and they speak their own language -- one in which I'm not versed. And, thankfully, I don't need to learn it for my job.

Come & peek into the meeting room with me, and into my mind's eye, while we're at it...

So, on bullet point 2, will the PM be determining the frequency for the AWDs?

I wonder if they have any  idea how funny this sounds.

Oh, that'll be the CDM, not the PM?

What would happen if I laughed out loud? That would really change the somber tone of the meeting.

Tangent discussions... too bad so-and-so couldn't attend this meeting.

Yeah, she's really missing out.

[Click click click -- my pen cap on & off, on my lap]

Dammit! I just wrote on my pants!  I wonder if Oxi Clean will take that out?

And where's so-and-so, I thought he was coming to this meeting?

Just think, I wouldn't know about Oxi Clean if it weren't for blogging. Come to think of it, I learned about the Magic Eraser through blogging too. Haven't used it yet though. Hmm.

Boy, we won't be getting to my part of the meeting for a while yet. I hope I don't have bad breath by then. Wish I'd brought some breath mints. Crap.

Do we have accounts for all the people in that other department?  Who has that list?

Oh, Liz asked to see a picture of my little guy. I'll jot down a reminder on my notepad. While I'm at it, I'll send pics to those two too. Jot, jot,...

What are these fields for in the database? Does anyone use them?

Boy, I wonder if we'll even get to my part of the meeting. Only 10 minutes left!

Blah blah blah.... Is that in the process? We'll get that into the process. Whose action item is that?

Unreal. 3 minutes to go.

So, Marie, are the guidelines up to date? and how are these people being trained?

Wakeup!  Yes, we're all set, and good to go.... blah, blah...

I hope my breath isn't bad; at least I'm only talking for about 60 seconds. How bad can it be?

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What do you think of when you're attending a meeting or event that you don't want to attend?

Cuteness Explosion

Warning: This post may contain more sticky sweetness than the average person can bear. Proceed with caution. Watch your step... If you don't want sweetness, then move along... nothing to see here.

I've noticed lately that there's been an explosion in the level of cuteness my little boy is exuding. Just when I don't think it's possible, he goes and gets cuter. He says something cuter and does something cuter. How can this be possible? And cuter may not even be a real word, but for the purposes of this post, it is. It's just necessary.

And it's not just in my imagination. Yesterday I asked my husband if he noticed that our son had gotten cuter overnight, and he had. OK, so we're both biased, but still -- there you have it -- two testimonials.

The putting together of two words -- "Hi" and "Daddy" -- is beyond regular cute, coming from the mouth of an 18-month old. Especially when it's said with such enthusiasm and enunciated just so. It is precious. It makes my eyes well up just thinking about it.

Then there are the Buh-byes. You know, like bye-bye, only stylized as the cool kids say it: Buh-bye.

Buh-bye to the peas he tosses onto the floor (complete with a wave).

Buh-bye to the parent who leaves the room.

Buh-bye to the toy he has dropped behind the couch.

It's especially cute because my husband and I aren't the least bit hip (and I mean that in the most positive way of course). We don't say Buh-bye. We say Bye or Bye-bye, as square folk do. Somehow he arrived at Buh-bye on his own -- it's just how it comes out.

There are the books. Before dinner last night, my little one brought me a book, climbed onto my lap so that we could read it. This was pretty typical, but he got down and repeated this cycle about six times in a row, bringing me a different book each time. Is there anything more flattering to a Mommy than to have her little boy climb onto her lap repeatedly with books? I don't think so.

Last night I sprawled out on the floor, laying on my side by some toys to watch the little guy play. He stopped playing and came over to me and layed down next to me, scooching over til he was right up against me, smiling and looking into my eyes. How can such cuteness go unnoticed & undocumented?

And of course there's the tickling. If he'd like to be tickled, he has a way of suggesting it: he'll take his little fingers and put them on his feet, saying "ticka-ticka-ticka" just the way we do. Or he'll "ticka-ticka" on my arm. Such sweetness. I need to bottle this. My heart overflows.

I may need to borrow your cute-o-meter, Raehan.

My little boy is exploding off the charts with cuteness! And I'm soaking it all in.

 

Beggars can't be choosers? Guess again.

This post was inspired by this prompt at Michele's.

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Back when my husband and I were dating, we'd go out to eat often and catch live music when we could. We both enjoy going to smallish clubs and hearing live performances by musicians we enjoy.

On one particular night, we headed downtown for a Matthew Sweet concert. We went to a favorite (now defunct) vegetarian restaurant for a bite to eat before the show. This way, we got a good parking spot, as we were just down the street from where the concert would be held.

We enjoyed a fine meal, but the ambiance was kind of sullied by some activity outside the restaurant. A homeless man was pacing back and forth in front of the restaurant, looking in the windows at the diners. This made me both sad and annoyed.

Being a very nice man and a generous soul, my husband ordered a bean burrito to go, when he was paying our bill. We left the restaurant with the burrito wrapped in a paper bag. My then-boyfriend approached the man outside the restaurant to give him the bag. The man asked what it was, and my honey responded that it was a bean burrito, to which the homeless man replied "No meat? I want meat."

He didn't take the bag! Yes, he refused a free meal.

We headed down the street to the concert venue. I was fuming mad. My husband kind of laughed it off as a wacky incident, but I was so mad I could barely see straight. I so wanted to give the man a piece of my mind.

When we arrived at the club, there was a very long line of people outside, waiting to get in. We got in line and waited too. Who shows up but Mr. "I want meat." He's hitting up everyone in line for money! My husband still held the paper bag containing the bean burrito, but the man didn't approach us. He knew what we had to offer: food!

There are a number of shelters in our city, and while I can't imagine what it's like to be homeless, I do know that there are plenty of people and organizations who offer food and shelter for the homeless here. And we support those organizations financially.

What do you do when you encounter a homeless person asking for money?  Have you ever had a contribution turned away?

Family Outing Prep

This morning, she says to him "I need the night off from cooking -- let's go out to eat and use this $5 off coupon for Don Pablo's."

As predicted, he responds, "Sure, whatever."

After the little boy's afternoon nap, he says "Let's go for a walk!"

Great! She says, "Let's walk on the nature trail out that way, and then we can go straight to the restaurant afterward."

She gets ready

• brushes her teeth
• uses bathroom
• packs small cooler bag with milk and snacks to bring to restaurant for little one
• grabs a toy for restaurant distracting
• grabs a book for more restaurant distracting
• grabs a bib
• grabs a change of clothes for the little guy, just in case -- there have been several pee pee accidents recently
• tops off the travel pack with diaper wipes
• grabs an extra diaper
• grabs just the right size tote bag to hold the small diaper bag, cooler bag, and odds and ends
• grabs water bottles for the walk
• grabs little one's hat for the walk
• grabs the stroller seat cover, which she recently washed, after pee pee accidents

He gets ready

• brushes his teeth
• uses bathroom
• puts clean diaper on little one
• straps little one in his car seat

She sees why they don't go out to eat often. She also sees that he's no fool!

She can only imagine what it would have been like if they'd gone camping over the summer. Oy.

Shop-a-holic Mom

I thought I had finished my garage-saling for the year 'til I saw this ad in the local Shopping Bag:

    Shop-a-holic Mom's end of season sale... quality boys clothing sizes 2-7....must see...

Right, like I'm going to pass that up! Garage salers like me love to follow shop-a-holic Moms around and buy their cast-offs!

There was a light rain this morning, but lucky for me, the seller had all of her items displayed on hanging racks inside the garage.

Tell me -- how is it that some people have clothing with no stains?  No pulls, no blemishes of any sort. I don't get it, but I like it! The clothes I bought today for my son are beautiful! I must be a slob or something, because I don't think I have a single white shirt of my own without some kind of stain on it. I use stain sticks, spot removers, etc, but even still my clothes don't come out of the wash as perfect as these used ones I bought today. And I'm an adult! Children get their clothes downright filthy! I guess I missed that day in homemaking school. Oh right, I'm just winging all of this!

Anyway, here's my haul from today's sale. 10 shirts, 2 pairs of shorts, 1 bathing suit, a couple of books and some toys. Old Navy, Gap, and Lands End. Nice stuff, huh? Not bad for $22.  Yeah, I know -- I need to get a life! Things like this give me a serious buzz. 

Can't wait til this lady's sale next year!

(Click photos to enlarge & maximize your ooohing and ahhhing)

 

That Martha -- She's No Donald

I confess that I am a fan of The Apprentice. The first season really hooked me, and while the following 2 seasons were pretty weak in comparison, I am holding out hope that The Donald will come through in season 4, as promised, beginning tonight. I love watching the interactions between the cast members, seeing how they tackle their assignments, and analyzing how they work together as a team (or don't). Mostly, I enjoy The Donald's take on how they did and his assessment of what works & doesn't work in business. His sidekicks George and Carolyn are sharp, and I love watching their facial expressions & hearing what they have to say about the people, their interactions, and their work.

Anyway, as a fan of the original  Apprentice, I was curious about the Martha Stewart version of the series and tuned in to watch it last night. I'll put my 2 cents out there before I hear or read what others have to say.

First of all, the premise of the show is exactly the same as The Donald's. Except for the interactions with the sidekicks and Martha's comments, the show is just the same. They've changed some of the lingo: instead of the boardroom, they go to the conference room; instead of the suite, the contestants go to the "loft;" instead of saying that someone will be fired, Martha says that one of them will be asked to go home. A kindler, gentler version of The Donald?

Martha-Apprentice-wannabees are told to split themselves into 2 groups; they choose to separate themselves into those who are creative types, and those with business-savvy. Weird. Wouldn't you want a combo on each team? Anyway, the first task is to adapt a fairy tale into a modern-day children's book, appropriate for 1st graders. The point of the exercise is to connect with your audience. Smart. Good first task.

Ultimately, one team loses because their project manager is a dictator and has bad ideas and no people skills. It was pretty clear that he had to go. The“conference room” scene was weak. One of Martha's sidekicks is her daughter, and so far that appears to be the only thing she brings to the table; she had nothing of value to add to the discussions. Her other sidekick, Charles, is very good and on-the-money -- reminds me more of Carolyn and George, The Donald's sidekicks.

Instead of ending with Trump's trademark “You're fired,” Martha ends with “You're not a fit,” shakes the loser's hand, and then composes a hand-written letter to him on her company stationery. Looks like that's going to be her trademark thing. How lame is that?

My prediction is that this series will not take off. It doesn't have that je ne sais quoi that The Donald brings to the table. Martha doesn't have the presence for this, and she has one very weak sidekick (her daughter). I think Martha should send her daughter one of those hand-written letters, and then the Donald should say: “Martha, you're fired.”

Tonight - The Real Deal.... The Donald. Anyone else watching?

Afternoon

This afternoon, after scrubbing a freshly urinated-upon futon and throwing its cover in the wash, I thought I'd give my little guy one more clean diaper before his afternoon nap - just for good measure. For the first time in weeks, he challenged me with a pee fountain during the diaper change. Fortunately we have an old rug in that room and a used changing table that we don't care about.

After his nap, I carried my boy downstairs, kissing the side of his head repeatedly while he snuggled on my shoulder. He lifted his face to mine & gave me several kisses on the face. We sat down and read some books, and the kisses continued. My heart melts.

I figure he'll stop peeing on everything around the time he doesn't want to be associated with his mother any more. I'll take all the kisses & hugs I can get for now!

Won't You Be My Neighbor?

Sometimes I tune the television in to PBS while I'm getting lunch ready.  My little boy enjoys this and doesn't protest going into the high chair when he can look at Mr. Rogers or Boobah. It's not something I want to make a habit of, but sometimes you've got to do what works.

Today, as I was making my son a grilled cheese sandwich, I tried to follow along with Boobah, and despite my best effort, I just didn't get it.  I watched my son though, and he nodded his head, as though he followed the imaginary conversation the Boobahs were having on the screen. It was almost like they were speaking a secret language that only little people understand. Intrigued, I checked out this site. Apparently there's a lot going on that literal folk like me just don't get. According to the web site:

        Boohbah is different from most educational TV. It is intended to foster a style of active viewing in which the things that children learn from viewing are not determined primarily by the content of the program, but rather by the ways that young viewers (and the grown-ups who care about them) engage with the program.

Looks like I may need to follow along more closely. How can I help him engage with the program if I don't understand it myself?

Maybe I'm just more of a traditionalist. I actually still like Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. Stop laughing! I think the episodes they're airing now are the same ones I watched in the 70's. I get Mr. Rogers, too. His approach and philosophy are straight-forward and wholesome. Mr. Rogers (sorry, I can't call him Fred, even now that I'm an adult -- he'll always be Mr. Rogers to me) is respectful, polite, positive, and caring. He has a routine, takes kids on outings and to the Land of Make Believe. I'm not an early childhood development expert, but the lessons are always apparent to me. I remember loving that trolley too, and my son gets very excited now when it comes on the screen.

Have you watched any children's television lately? What do you see that you like? 

As I revealed recently on One Happy Dog Speaks, I only recently learned about The Wiggles. Since learning of them, we've borrowed videos from the library, and they are fun for be-bopping around and dancing. Since we cut our cable TV, we don't have many options that come directly into the house, but I'm interested in hearing about good stuff we can watch on video now and then. And I'll continue to be glad to see that Mr. Rogers is still on at lunch time.

 

An Autumn Tale

Only three more days 'til Autumn arrives in the northern hemisphere; Autumn is my favorite time of year. Crisp, sunny days, crunchy leaves, beautiful, colorful drives. Fall is gorgeous in upstate NY.

It was in Fall that I met the Pickle Man -- 6 years ago this Fall, actually. We went on a lovely Fall outing for our first date. And for the 1-year anniversary of that first date, the Pickle Man surprised me with a trip to a Finger Lakes B&B. We remember this trip fondly, and laugh about it from time to time.

You see, that was Hubby's first trip to a B&B. He arranged the whole thing -- he found a lovely place online, near some of the Finger Lakes wine trails. Great location, and a beautiful inn, along with breakfast. What could be better?

When we arrived at the Inn, it was dark out, as we had driven down after a full day of work. We were greeted by a young woman wearing what you'd expect a perky teenaged girl to wear. A t-shirt and short-short shorts. She was very bubbly in her push-up bra and thick make-up, and her name was Tammy. (Think very young Tammy Lee Baker.)  I figured she was the late night greeter or the housekeeper. She led us to our room by walking up two flights of stairs ahead of us. Did I mention she was wearing short-short shorts? Hmmph.

The next morning we had a look around the inn. Clearly there was some history to the place. The inn had been in the family for decades. We read reviews on the walls, and looked around at the knick-knacks and decorations, which indicated that the inn was run by a religious family. Cool. It's neat to stay at a place and get a feel for the people who run it.

Imagine our surprise when we saw Tammy again, along with her husband Jim. Yes, Jim and Tammy were the inn-keepers. An apparently religious Jim and Tammy. Tammy greeted us at our table, in her short-short shorts and caked-on makeup and told us they'd be serving french toast for breakfast.

Mmm mmm. I like french toast. I make a mean french toast in fact -- with thick crusty bread from a local Italian bakery, and fresh maple syrup. Mmm. It's always nice to have someone else prepare it for you though.

Unless you're staying at this particular inn.

Tammy brought out our plates, and I kid you not, this french toast was from the frozen food aisle at the local Shop & Save. In fact, I'd put money on it being Aunt Jemima french toast, with fake syrup. Not that there's anything wrong with that on a regular day, but this was a B&B, where we were expecting a special, full, home-cooked breakfast.

We scratched our heads and laughed it off, determined not to let it affect our getaway.

We hit some wineries that day, did some antiquing, and went out for dinner, enjoying the fall views in the beautiful Finger Lakes region.

The next morning, we arrived in the dining room for breakfast and were told that we'd be having eggs and cinnamon rolls. Mmm. OK. Now this sounds more like it. We each said how we'd like our  eggs prepared, and licked our chops waiting for our fresh-cooked breakfast.

Tammy returned with two plates. Each one contained eggs and two cinnamon rolls. These were not just any cinnamon rolls; they were Pillsbury cinnamon rolls - I'm certain of it. Not the big ones either. These were Oreo-cookie-sized cinnamon rolls from the cooler section of the grocery store.

We were both shocked and disappointed. We knew it wasn't just a fluke -- this was the way they ran their business! Imagine running a B&B where you serve your guests pre-packaged crap instead of homemade goods?! (Not that there's anything wrong with this stuff on a regular day AT HOME, when you're not staying at a pricey B&B!)

Our disappointment was intensified when we looked over at our hostess Tammy, who was seated a few tables away, enjoying a large bowl of fresh fruit. What? The guests don't get fruit too?!

It's not like me to not complain about something like this, but I didn't say anything this time. The Pickle Man had made the arrangements, and since he was new to B&Bs, he really didn't know what to ask about their food before signing us up. I had been to some very nice B&Bs and knew that nicer homemade food was the norm, when you're paying a good dollar to stay there.

Since then, my husband has arranged for lovely accommodations with spectacular breakfasts, including this place for our 1-year wedding anniversary. And if we didn't have a child, I'd be checking out one of these places for a fall getaway. Oooh Ahhh!

We smile & wave when we're in Jim and Tammy's neighborhood though. The whole experience was good for some laughs. And I think of them every time I make french toast now.

ps -- if you want to know the name of the place, send me an e-mail (practigal (at) gmail (dot) com). I don't want to send them any linky love from this site!